Let the Beatings BEGIN!

OK, no not really. But my teenager is here for the summer now.  At his size, I'm pretty sure the only beatings will be in the games we play. Darts, various board games, Wii games...  

I say size because my teenager is well over 6 inches taller than me.  And since he's eating more, I'm pretty sure he will have another growth spurt this summer, or shortly into his Sophmore year.  Right now, he's only about an inch taller than last summer.  But he's also notorious for hardly eating.  My son is about as bad as a supermodel, when it comes to his eating habits. Hopefully minus rumored purging.  So, with his (what should be) normal teenage appetite, I will predict my son to hit 6ft this summer or shortly after he returns to his father.  And potentially exceeding that by a good 3 inches.  And since he has my genes, he might very well finally pack on some weight and be a good sized man.  My great-grandfather was 6'4" and pushed close to 300#.  Big burly Missouri farmer.

In other child abuse news, I didn't recognize my own son when he came thru the security doors at the airport.  See, for  the past 4 years or so, my son has had a buzz cut.  His father wouldn't allow any other hair style for him, after I was out of the picture.  Which is totally hypocritical of my ex, since just a couple years before we split up, he'd had a 3 foot ponytail cut off and donated to Locks of Love.  3 full feet of ginger hair. All natural.  He took his brother's idea of growing it out when he got out of the military.  His brother, last I saw him, still had a long scraggly ponytail.  My ex's was thick and luxurious.  So why he forced my son to get buzz cuts for years, I can't explain.  Wouldn't have been my choice.  

Fast-forward to Friday afternoon sitting in the Boise Airport anxiously awaiting a glimpse of my son, and he had to practically walk up to where I was sitting before I realized it was him.  He now has the surfer/skater look(depending on how old you are, you might remember it as the SoCal surfer look of the 70s/80s or the skater look of the early 2000s) but with curls at the ends.   He tells me his dad will probably demand he get another buzz cut before starting school, even tho I've heard "out of the eyes and off the collar".  Well, I can accommodate that!  To within the barest minimum requirements! 

His hair doesn't look bad at all!  I just didn't expect it.  And it's a much darker blonde than I'm used to. And with curls!!  Ahhh, teenagers.  I know, I know, 'post a picture...'  I can't.  It's not my face I'd be posting on the interwebz.  Last I checked, he doesn't even have his pic on his FB page.

Am I a bad parent for telling my son to willfully disobey his other parent?  Here's the situation, as told to me by my teen.( I have yet to corroborate with the ex on this one.) 

My ex has been forcing my son to go to church.  This was a shock to me, as my ex was never a church-goer when we were together.  His parents didn't even go to church.  His father was raised Mormon, but for whatever reason decided not to continue.  It's not a Mormon service he's attending, but I don't know why the sudden churchiness.  It wasn't like this 6 months ago.   
Fine, no biggie if my ex has suddenly found the need, but why would you force someone to go?   To me, that falls under religious intolerance.  I was never forced to go to church.  When I was little and we lived in the south, I decided I wanted to go to Sunday school.  There aren't too many choices other than Baptist when you live in the South.  At least not where we were.  And the bus came by to pick up the kiddies!  It was my choice, and eventually, I decided it wasn't for me.  My parents didn't attend with me, I didn't attend because of them.  My choice.    When I was married to the ex, we never went to church.  Maybe ( a very very strong maybe) for weddings or funerals, but not once did we get fancied up on a Sunday morning and attend a church. 
My son has no desire at this point to attend a church.  He doesn't get anything out of the service.  He has no problem studying the various main religions, and has, in fact, read various religions' texts.   Apparently this isn't enough for the ex.  He is still demanding my son attend.  Teenager and I discussed him getting out of the house early so he's not around for church.  I am all for him disobeying his father on this one. 
You should never, ever force religion on someone.  Most likely, you're just going to ruin the possibility of that person ever wanting to come to your religion.

Kids who have always been raised in the church(any church) are used to it and don't know any different, mostly.  I don't consider that forcing the person.  If that child ever decides they don't want to attend anymore, or they chose another path, then let them go and find their own path. 

We even went far into the tangent of "if it gets bad enough, you can always live here."  Again, something I've never, ever tried to influence my son on. Which parent he wanted to live with.  And now, at his ripe old age of 15, it can be discussed w/o influence.  He knows what he wants and what he doesn't want.  He's very well established with friends and school.  It would take something extreme to make him want to move to Redneck Central, Idaho. :)  (I love where I live. I just know it's a far cry from the ideals of most anywhere on the West Coast.)


So, back to the question, am I a bad parent for telling my son to willfully disobey his father in this?